Thursday, October 12, 2006

I believe I was promised a rose garden...

As anyone who has ever planned a wedding knows it isn't always Skittles and beer. In fact it's more like pickled eggs and moonshine. Here's a list of the things that have gone wrong, or are crappy or are giving me a migraine as we speak.

  1. We have about 15 people who don't know what "The favor of a reply is requested on or before October 7, 2006." and a self-addressed stamped envelope mean. If you can't make it fine. I will understand, for the most part. But let me know. Tonight I have to sit down and call these people and see if they will decide to come to this big party with the jazz band and the free food and the little boxes of toffee they can take home at the end of the night. At least we'll be milking the last little bit of airtime out of our Alltell contract.
  2. Between my stress levels and Josh's new antidepressants we aren't exactly acting like a happy couple. Don't get me wrong, we are getting along fine and still want to marry each other, but it's not all kissy kissy lovey goo goo at The Incredibly Messy House on Excaliber Drive.
  3. Speaking of which, I am rapidly running out of time to clean the house for the wedding. My freind/bridesmaid Xiangtang is staying with me the night before the wedding because i'm a little pussy who is scared to spend the night alone. Even though we live in a very safe, quiet subdivison on the edge of town. Plus my other bridesmaids and my mom etc. are dressing at the house so the photographer and videographer will be there to get those super cool dressing-for-the-big-day shots. I would freaking die if the mess was preserved in my wedding album. Thankfully next Monday and Tuesday is Fall Break and my wonderful boss has given me those days off. Hopefully I will be able to either clean up the mess or hide it. Then I can move on to...
  4. Packing for the honeymoon. I've never been on a cruise before so I have only a vague idea of what to pack. I know I will need summer clothes since it's warm in the Bahamas, and i'm sure i'll need dressy clothes, but i'm not sure how many. And can Josh bring his PS2? Should I bring the travel iron? What type of things will freak out Homeland Security? Are they going to toss out my embroidery scissors? Or is that just on a plane? Do we need a garment bag? I know i'm probablly overthinking this, I overthink what to bring to a weekend at my parent's house. But then I can convince myself that they have the same things that I need for survival: deodorant, shampoo, OTC meds, and if they don't Wal-Mart is just a drive away. In this case whatever I forget I have to buy on the ship at three times the cost.
  5. Speaking of the ship, what if I freak out? You're reading the musings of a woman who once got off a taxi-ing plane in Las Vegas because of a panic attack, forcing Josh and I to drive back to Greenville. Yes you read that correctly. We drove from Las Vegas to Greenville, North Carolina. And we didn't kill each other or break up or anything. But if I freak out on this ship once it leaves Port Canaveral my only way off is in a metal cage lifted by the Coast Guard. I am comforted by the fact that a cruise ship recently pulled into port with a dead sperm whale stuck at the bow and the ship was so big they didn't even notice. Anything that large will not go crazy in a storm and will take a while to sink. But i'm more worried about feeling confined and freaking out over that. Our room has a window so I doubt it will be a problem but I can never tell. That's why it's called an anxiety disorder. It doesn't make sense. At least this time I have some Klonopin. If I had had my little pink freinds two years ago our little incident on the plane could have been avoided. But then we wouldn't have the memories...
  6. Of course all this pre-wedding stuff is to be expected. What isn't expected is the amount of flaking people have pulled recently. My Mother and one of my Aunts had a fight a couple of months ago. My Aunt was being a butthead and my mom called her on it. Well rather than getting over it, or putting aside her anger for one day my aunt and uncle have decided not to come to the wedding. So she's still being a butthead, I am kinda mad at her since part of her buttheadedness was talking smack about me, I am completely on my mom's side in this and I know I should say to hell with it. But I do love my aunt and wish she would come to the wedding. I know i'm always going to be sad that she wasn't there even if she brought it on herself. Then there's the matter of my Dad's freind Don. I grew up with Don being around, he was at Thanksgiving last year, he's a special freind of the family. But rather than come to the wedding he's going to a motorcycle show to try and sell some bikes. Now I know this is his livlihood and chances are he had to pay his seller fee in advance of our getting engaged, so i'm trying hard not to be mad. But i'm definately upset that he won't be there to share our day.
  7. Finally, ten days before the wedding, I have lost a bridesmaid. Yes, this deserves it's own number. I chose my girls from my closest freinds. I don't have many freinds. I have my sister as maid of honor, natch. I remember when we lived in the old house and she was in a crib in the same room as me. And the time when we both went as black cats for Halloween. I remember her unfortunate Dorothy Hamill haircut, and she remembers my even more unfortunate perm. Then Linda and Xiangtang. I have known them since 1999 when I first came to Greenville. We were the Greenville Girls together. Xiangtang left a few years ago to get her masters degree and is now working on her PhD. But she still keeps in touch and visits when she comes down. Linda and I have been each other's support system forever. She moved with her husband an hour away a couple of months ago, but I still hear from her every week or so. We call each other for advice and to vent. She's taking care of our cats while we're on the honeymoon. I bought her dress for her since she couldn't afford it when it needed to be ordered. Stephanie and I met on the Silver bus about three years ago and realized we were in the same French class. She is the ultimate gal pal. We went shopping together, ate mexican food constantly (seriously, the manager at Mazatlan knew us by name and what we ordered) and since moving to Memphis for her MFA we have had many four hour phone conversations. I picked these four because they have been there for a long time and they are true freinds. I don't understand people who lop off one side of the attendants or fill it in with warm bodies. Taht's not what it's about. So anyway, when I heard from Stephanie yesterday that she didn't have the money to make it to the wedding, I was pretty upset. I'm trying to understand because we've been broke as a damn joke lately, but it's been seven months. It seems like she could have made sure this was going to work out. But as I told my mom in an email this morning I have too many other things to work on and worry about to waste energy being mad. As with my aunt and Don I think i'll always be kinda sad that she wasn't there, but it's out of my hands, so Onward and Upward.

Yes, I would like some cheese with these whines. A nice Parmesan if you have it. Or a smoked Gouda.

I've tried hard to be a good bride. I've not forced my bridesmaids to loose weight or buy dyed shoes. I haven't told Josh he has to pick four out of six of his freinds for groomsmen so the lines will be even. I haven't complained about gifts people have bought us that were'nt from the registry. (Why would I? I can either use them or take them back.) I'm caught up with my thank you notes. I haven't been rude or demanding to my vendors. I didn't even cut Josh's cousin like I said I would. Unless our headcount is ungodly her boyfreind can come. I'll smile and shake his hand in the receiving line. In the end I know it's all about the covenant that Josh and I are entering into. So I know that it will all work out. It will be wonderful and fun and one of the happiest days of my life. I'm sure the work and time and money will all be worth it. But right now I'm stressed and just a little cranky. After seven months of good behavior and everything going on, I think i've earned it.