It's been a rough few months.
Last night one of our kitties was breathing very hard. Struggling really. We rushed her to the emergency vet. She had FIP which was causing fluid to leak into her chest making it hard for her to breathe. All we could do was to put her to sleep. The vet brought in a small label with a black bar across the top. It read "Consent to Euthanize". I picked up the pen and started back crying. I slid it across the table to Josh. He signed it for me.
He kept asking me if I was ok when we got home. I told him I was ok, how was he. Chloe was his kitty too. He said he was sad, but was more worried about me. That in role-playing terms I had a +11 empathy so I'm really vunerable.
This afternoon as I caught up on the sleep I missed last night he took the car for an oil change and then went by the vet to pick up the ashes of Scooter, my hedgehog, who died two weeks ago. I'm sure when Chloe returns to us he'll pick her up too.
The poem Footprints is all about how God carries us when we need him too. Someone should write a poem called Wagon Tracks. Sometimes you both walk with the wagon behind you, other times one of you pulls the other in the wagon. I'm sad to be in the wagon right now, but i'm glad that i'm being pulled.