I also don't beleive in bridezillas.
Shocking I know. There was even a TV show called bridezillas. If it's on TV then it must be true. Right?
No. Most of those women were not bridezillas. A few of them were uptight bitches, but mostly they were just dropping a shit load of money for a wedding and wanted the shit right. I can relate. I think it was definately skewed toward making them seem worse than they were. And I think it's pretty fucked up for WE, Women's Entertainment for goodness sakes, to consistantly portray women in such a shitty light. But that's another post for another time. And most likely another blog. Anyway...
A bridezilla is a woman who goes nuts and becomes bitchy, pushy, mean, controlling and unpleaseable while planning her wedding. We all know one, or know someone that does. So how can they not exist? The key is in while planning her wedding. Therein lies my thesis.
I think that if you act this way while planning your wedding then you act this way while ordering a combo at Wendy's. And guess what: It's unacceptable either time. I call bullshit on every excuse given for this behavior.
"I'm just demanding." Sorry. Demanding is rude. You can politely and professionally explain exactly what you want and do not want with out demanding anything.
"I'm a perfectionist." Meet my good friend Paxil. Nothing on this earth is perfect. Nothing. Not even your flawless, colorless diamond. At the very least it's overpriced, and it's also probablly small. Your cake, flowers, gown, hair, day will not be perfect. Accept it or get therapy.
"I'm a control freak." See above. Unless you can do everything from baking your cake, to engraving your invitations, to making your gown, and being everywhere at once on your wedding day, you will have to trust others. And no, calling and checking on something 20 times will not up the chances of it being right. Meet my other good friend, Klonopin.
"I'm paying good money for this." You and everyone else. I'm paying $500 for my flowers. If the other bride he's doing that day is paying $200 does that make me more important? No. Does it give me the right to be more pushy or rude to my florist? No. It means I have chosen more expensive flowers. The end.
"I won't be walked all over." Neither will I. I will carefully read my contracts before signing them and ask questions. I will keep organized records. I will firmly but professionally call attention to things that are wrong. We'll talk about it like adults and reach a decision or compromise. Because that's what grown-ups do.
"It's wrong!" Can you do anything about it now? If yes, see above. If no, I believe you've met Klonopin. Seriously. Is your cake dusted with D-Con instead of pink rose petals? No? The petals are light purple instead of pink? Well, set up the guillotine! Seriously. As long as the mistakes aren't going to make you or your guests sick or in danger, deal. Now, that's not to say that you can't discuss this with your vendor Monday morning, or at an appropriate time and place that day, but pitching a fit 15 minutes before you walk down the aisle is all sorts of wrong. Put it out of your head long enough to marry your fiance. Remember him? Remember the big religious, legal, and social ceremony you are about to take part in? The whole point of this day? Concentrate on that for half an hour. Then determine what if anything can be done. If nothing, well, hit the bar and have a good time.
"I just want it right." Me too. It's a lot of work and a lot of money. There are a lot of people who will witness the fruits of your labor. But you can make sure it's right without being rude. And it can be wrong without having a stroke.
Bridezillas are a figment of our imagination. We give this behavior a name so we don't have to call it by it's other uglier names. Rudeness, selfishness, rigidity, plain old bitchiness. We don't want to say these things to our freinds, our family members or even our fiances. But what we forget is that they were like this before the wedding, and they're going to be like this after the wedding, so maybe we need to seize the day and bitchslap them back into reality. Not just for the vendors who were unfortunate enough to land their business, but for all of us. All of their friends, realtives, co-workers, neighbors, and yes, even us other brides.
Because of them when someone notices a ring on your finger or answers a phone call about a wedding the defenses go up. And sometimes there is no getting those defenses down. They are waiting for you to throw your Martha Stewart Weddings on the table and begin sobbing. That's no way to do business.
As the great Tori Amos once sang "I believe in peace. I believe in peace, bitch." I do believe in peace. I don't believe in bridezillas. Unfortunately I am forced to believe in rude, pushy, mean, inflexible people who happen to be brides and are giving the rest of us a bad name.