Friday, July 25, 2008

Another day, another C-Section defense...

I'm always amazed at how empty and boring people's lives are.

I work, I have a husband, five cats, a home to maintain, dolls to dress, chores to do, internet surfing to take care of, about a thousand needle work projects, and a LOT of stuff on my tifaux to watch. Lots to do with my life, very little time to troll the internet to criticize people for how they have their babies.

But I guess i'm weird becuase honestly, I could really give a rats ass about how people give birth. Maybe, like I said, I just have other things to do. Or maybe it's because I entered the world via emergency C-section and my sister was born naturally (Yeah, I know all birth is natural, but that's how my mom always put it and I just can't use the V word when referring to my mother) that I don't see one way as fundamentally better than the other.

But i'm in the minority. As usual.

A few days ago Julie at A Little Pregnant had up a post about all the flack she had gotten about how she would probably end up with a scheduled C-section and telling these idiots to fuck off, and today Amalah posted about feeling defensive about scheduling a C-section for her second child.

And I just don't get it.

Yes, I know that mostly our bodies were designed to give birth, and that a lot of people find the medicalization of childbirth to be disturbing. Fair enough. I also think it's great that we are now able to choose to give birth with no pain medication if that's what we want. I understand that for some people giving birth at home is great experience. I know that some reasons for the higher rate of C-sections are crappy, like the doctor not wanting to get sued if anything goes wrong so we do surgery rather than accepting a small risk. Or the hospital wanting a bigger insurance payout for the more expensive C-section. I understand why for a lot of people a C-section is something they want to avoid. (Hell, i'd like to avoid it too. I'd like to avoid anything that involves cutting through my abdominal wall.)

What I don't understand is why we have to give each other so much flack for anything but a vaginal birth. Why we can't say 'Well, her circumstances were different from mine so I won't judge' or 'I'm sure she made an informed decision' or even more rare today 'I'll just mind my own damn business and not inquire about how this baby got here much less pass judgement on someone I don't know'.

A lot of things can go wrong with birth. My mom was fanny first, Josh had to be pulled out with forcepts, my heart wasn't beating right so they yanked me on out. People aren't all built to give birth. Sometimes the hips just aren't big enough. Sometimes babies are too big. Sometimes babies don't turn head down like they're supposed to. And who can argue with a chance of uterine rupture while attempting a vaginal birth after a c-section? That's a hell of a complication. To criticize someone over her C-section is to assume that she didn't talk to her doctor about the circumstances surrounding this pregnancy and birth and didn't make an informed decision. That's a pretty assy assumption. Especially when, as in Julie's case, terms like "drink the kool-aid" get thrown around. What an insulting thing to say.

So if you want to give birth in your living room surrounded by family fine. But when someone blogs about their C-section and you get the urge to criticize, leave the computer, go to Michaels and find your self a hobby. Maybe start by learning how to stitch a sampler that says "Mind your own business".

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