Friday, August 08, 2008

Dear Shear Genius Writers: Are you HIGH?

It's ok, you can tell me. I'm cool. Hell, i'm so cool i'm watching your crappy summer time reality show and actually caring about it! So you need to come clean now, because I think this week's episode was equal to finding a pipe and some rock in your pants while doing the laundry.
Last week I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I thought, hey, they're experimenting a little, testing boundaries, drinking schnaaps in their freind's basement. Like all kids do. And I always said I wouldn't be one of those viewers who hovers and obsesses. After all you see what that got me with Gilmore Girls. So I watched as you wrote up a crazy color challenge that was pretty lame and then as you had everyone embark on the fool's errand of "updating" the hair styles from Charlie's Angels. That was just dumb. You can't update iconic styles like that. Not so much because they are iconic, but more because they are 100% 70s and 70s things updated just look really, really dumb. I know you've been lead astray by all these fashion magazines the last few years telling you that tie-dye is back and peasant shirts are the rage, but they're wrong. They aren't. And you can't update Charlie's Angels. And using Charlie's Angels since Jaclynn Smith is the host of the show is lazy. Come up with another 70's TV show to attempt a hair update on if you must. But again, I let it slide.
But this week. Well this week was just too bad for me to overlook. What the hell were you thinking with that stupid Food Instead of Styling Products challenge? Were you trying to be "green"? Well you blew that out of the water quick! Did you stop to think how much water and regular non-green shampoo it's going to take these people to get that crap out of their hair? Of course not! And did you think that by connecting the "green" styles to some futuristic, crazy shit that maybe you were painting a bad picture of people who DO want green products? No! And I know some of those items are good for hair. We've all heard about people using mayonaise or avacados to moisturize their hair, but some of that shit was fucked up! Squid? Anchovies? Corn syrup? Caramel? If your intention was to create styles that made the models smell like a sandwich and attract horse flies mission accomplished!
And after those horrendous "styles" you bring out dogs and their owners for some Make them Look Alike crap! And rather than focusing on the humans, who the contestants are trained to work with, you have them give both the owner and the dog a cut and style. It was honestly the dumbest challenge i've seen yet.
And I hope this is as low as it goes. I can't take much more stupidity. I stumbled on this show at the beach when there was nothing on and I didn't have my DVR or DVDs to watch. Keep this up and i'll not watch next season on purpose.
So for next week I hope you put the pipe down and wrote some challenges that focus on HAIR! If not, then I may have to turn you over to the Intervention writers and they'll send you off to rehab faster than you can say Kim Vo!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I wonder how much those women are getting paid to get their hair destroyed by those stupid, self-righteous hair dressers?

I've put lots of wacky stuff in my hair over the years. Eggs to make it soft, beer to make it shine, cranberry juice for reddish highlights, but squid? what the fuck is squid supposed to do, besides make people wretch?

If someone put squid in my hair I'd feed them to the giant squid with gold in his belly.

For crying out loud.