Thursday, May 14, 2009

I'm Going to Go Out on a Limb Here and Call it a Comeback.

So a while back I posted rather crypticly about my new meds for my sleep disorder. Well now i'm saying it loud and proud, i've been on Xyrem.

Xyrem is a pretty controversial drug. It's basically GHB. Yes, the date rape drug. I've been taking roofies now for four months. And I feel awesome.

I don't feel awesome on the drug itself. I've been drunk twice in my life and i've never even smoked weed, so not feeling in control of my body is really strange and sort of unpleasant. But the Xyrem puts me into the deep, restful sleep I wasn't getting before and I feel so. Much. Better.

I wake up at a reasonable time in the morning now. I get through my day at work without feeling like i'm in a sleep deprivation experiment going on hour 30. I feel sleepy when I get home from work, and sometimes I lay down to rest, but i'm no longer sleeping 3-4 hours every afternoon. Most of the time I lay down for half an hour or so and get back up since I don't go to sleep and actually feel restless laying in bed. My biggest problem has been figuring out what to do with the afternoons I used to spend asleep.

A few weeks ago I spent my Saturday afternoon in the back yard with my bypass loppers and bow saw and trimmed trees that were long neglected. The Crepe Myrtles and Red Tips look like they grow in a yard of an occupied house now, instead of one that's abandoned. I've ripped down Ivy that was trying to take over a wall of my house. I've transplanted the Hostas that the previous owners foolishly planted in the sun to the shade. The only thing stopping me now is lack of money and the 90 degree heat and opressive humidity that is already here in NC.

The inside of the house is getting better too. I cleaned out my dresser and have actually been folding and putting my clothes away once they're washed. I have five bags of old things to go to Goodwill. I still have a lot to do, but now i'm actually getting some things done instead of letting it sit. Again money seems to be the one thing holding me back on most jobs.

But i'm feeling like myself again. Not like the wrung out rag that has been just getting by for the last couple of years. I'm back. And it feels really, really good.

1 comment:

Jessica C. said...

You want to come over and give my yard a makeover? The pizza guy offered to trim my bushes today ...yes, it's that bad...