Monday, July 31, 2006


So Shelayna and Bart's saga wrapped up last night. Before I begin though, I must say one thing. The past two seasons of Bridezillas has sucked. I love the first season. I could watch it over and over again. I love the music, the classy weddings, the fruity announcer. It rocked. But these last two seasons have been awful. Most of the girls are so far from bridezilla territory it's laughable, the music is horrid, and I wish a slow painful death on the announcer. Anyway...

My overall impression of Shelayna (yes that is her name and yes that is how you spell it) was that she needed a Xanax smoothie fast. Why? Well, her fiance Bart has the mind of a five year old. He annoyed the hell out of me. And if I had to hear her say "Bart" in that nagging/whining tone again I was going to have to strangle her.

I know that opposites are supposed to attract and that someone free spirited can help someone too serious lighten up and they can help the other be more grounded, but not in this case. This time they are too opposite and will only suceed in annoying the piss out of each other and everyone around them.

Bart just didn't seem right. He proposed as she got out of the shower? The balancing stuff on his chin? The freeballing in his tux???? Even Josh was grossed out/stupefied by that one. What the fuck? You can't wear underwear on you wedding day? And Josh isn't a stuffed shirt. He wears khakis that have had the bottoms walked off and t-shirts that need to go into the rag pile and even he couldn't believe the freeballing. That boy ai'nt right.

And Shelayna is everything I don't want to be. Late, annoyed at my intended, stressed to the point of tears and yelling. Somebody get her a Klonopin, or a beer or a Tylenol PM. Anything to take the edge off.

However, I can see her being super upset at Bart's brother and his pocket full of beer at the rehearsal. That's ten kinds of wrong. I'm no Puritan, but you don't drink in church. Especially at the altar during a wedding rehearsal!!! Again, those boys ai'nt right.

Over all I don't think Shelayna was a bridezilla. She just needed a tranquilizer and a grown man to marry rather than a child. Here's hoping that most of it was an act for the cameras.

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