Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Monica and Dawn

So I had gotten off the Bridezillas train at least a season ago and i'm not sure why. Sure, since the first season it had gone waaaaaaay down in quality and had gone from Bridezillas ( a woman who is normal going nuts from the planning of her wedding) to Crazy Bitches Get Married (TM someone on the TWoP boards who was soooo right) but I think it was something else.

It's odd, but since I got married i've avoided shows having much of anything to do with weddings. Watching these shows just brings up the nostalgia for my wedding and even kinda pokes at a few things that went wrong and still sorta bug me. Like my Aunt Rita and her kids not being there or that the violinist forgot our wedding and didn't show up, or that my freind Stephanie who was supposed to be a bridesmaid couldn't make it. Nothing big, and certainly nothing that "ruined" the day or neccesitated a big crying freak out, but still make me sorta sad.

But, it's the middle of summer and there is NOTHING on TV so Bridezillas it is.

So Monica. Allegedly she's 24. I'm not buying it. If an updo makes you look 44 then you're at least 34. Girl needs to stop tanning and get some skin care stat or she's going to look like an unstuffed muppet in a few years. I like her gown, I thinks its one from Alfred Angelo that has your choice of like 50 colors on it and it's nice to see someone on this show who actually has the figure for a strapless dress. (Of course a lot of other girls on this show could have looked better in their gowns had they invested in proper foundation garments and some alterations. Strapless can work for big girls with a little extra effort. Otherwise you look like a hot mess. Katrina i'm looking in your direction...)

Anyway, Monica wasn't so bad. I question her judgement at getting married to a guy she's only known for five weeks (required disclaimer here about my parents getting married after four weeks and being together for 30 years) but at least she seems to like the guy. I think the men's tuxes were tacky and a little Guys and Dolls-ish and her bridesmaid's dresses looked more like prom dresses, but whatever. Personally I don't care for red as a wedding color. Red flowers don't look good in front of a white dress and red isn't a color that's easy to find complimentary colors for. But these are the trends. Anyway, nice wedding and the next time Monica is on TV (and you know there will be a next time) let's hope she doesn't share her bikini wax with us.

Dawn. Oh goodness. What to say except that she's a complete hosebeast. She berates her fiance for being fat when she's fatter than him, berates him for his table manners ignoring that she's being 50 times ruder by doing that, and doesn't even seem to like him all that much. Not that his manners weren't awful. They were. The man is indeed a slob. But there are nicer ways to let him know that than hiring an etiquette coach to observe then blindside the man in public.

Now is the time that I put on my psychologist costume (thick glasses, thick mustache and beard, and a pipe) and analyze these two. They've been together since high school which is not a great idea. They've broken up a few times and their problems are big enough for their families to be concerned about the overall wisdom of this relationship not to mention marriage. To me it seems that they're both scared of life without the other since they've been together so long with no real break to figure themselves out separately. They probably both think deep down that they couldn't get anyone else, and their families disapproval only strengthens their desire to stay together to prove them wrong. This is a trainwreck all around. (Removes psychologist costume.)

Another thing that struck me was her awful treatment of her bridesmaids. (BTW, it's great to see that Katie Holmes has escaped, but why is she hanging out with Dawn? I guess it's not unusual for someone to leave a cult and then get sucked back into a bad situation.) I guess i'm one of the few people who had the bridesmaids I did because they were my freinds and I liked them. I paid for two of their dresses. I found one a dress by another designer because nothing from David's Bridal had sleeves and she was all about some sleeves. I didn't berate them (how many times am I going to have to write that word today?) I didn't yell, or get upset or kick them out of the wedding. I didn't have crazy expectations of them. I didn't make them line up for inspection, force them to get updos and fake nails, or have them mke my favors, tie ribbons on our bubbles or any of that. I guess i'm just not a crazy bitch.

Anyway, that's what I thought. I await next week's episode wondering why I got back into this show.

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