Monday, October 06, 2008

Almost a Goth Kid

Anyone who knows me (and since only my mom and sister read this thing, they are among them) or those who noticed the post on my skull earrings, knows I have a dark side. A weird side that is interested in so unconventional, dark, morbid, freaky things. I like to say I was almost a goth kid. Almost.

I suppose that's why I love this time of year so much. The changing of summer to fall evokes a certain creepy feeling in me. Like the suddenly cool nights are now suitable for spirits to come out and play. The last few months have just been too hot for them.

I guess this comes from the associations we make with fall and winter. The cold is something that keeps most plants from growing. After the harvest and once the trees loose their leaves the world looks barren and dead. In the past people would gather together to keep warm and the increasing darkness outside seemed more sinister than before.

Strange how we hold onto these ideas century to century and spanning almost every human society. Of course that's what Carl Jung was talking about in his theories on the collective unconscious so if these ideas interest you look into that.

What interests me are things most people are freaked out by. Death in general is a facinating topic to me. I love to read about rituals and superstitions surrounding death and mourning in different cultures. I like to look at Momento Mories and anatomical specimens. The Mutter Museum is in my top five of places I must visit, the sooner the better. In January Josh and I traveled to Charlotte to see Bodyworlds, an exhibit that you couldn't pay some people to go into. I love to vist and photograph historic cemetaries. I even considered having a few pictures taken of me in my wedding gown in the small cemetary of the church we got married in. I still wish I had. My pictures folder on my computer is full of awesome artwork of the Grim Reaper. I have an Autopsy Room sign on my office door at home that I bought at Wal-Mart last Halloween. It stays up all year. I would love to drive a hearse.

I love to read about and see pictures of strange and rare diseases. Epidemics fascinate me. So do poisonous plants. Lots of people like to read about serial killers and i'm no exception. That's actually one of my more mainstream interests. I wouldn't mind seeing an autopsy. I dream of going to Paris to visit the Catacombs. (And the Louvre. Let's be fair.)

Ghosts, spirits and hauntings are so interesting to me that I would love to stay in a haunted hotel or go on a ghost walk. (I've had the opportunity with the latter, but Josh wouldn't go along.) I have many books on ghosts of North Carolina and look for more whenever we visit a new place. Salem is another strange destination that i'm chomping at the bit to visit. So is the Winchester Mansion. If someone were to look at my bookshelf and nothing else in my house they might be a little concerned.

Of course i'm not a Goth kid and never was. I'm a generally happy person. My skull and crossbones earrings sit on my dresser next to my froggy charm bracelet. My books on death, disease and murder are right below my collection of American Girl books and above my books on counted cross stitch. The Autopsy Room is full of American Girl dolls, Simpsons collectables and an Animal Crossing Wild World stand up display.

I suppose this is part of me longing for the past. A time when things were unexplained and life had more mystery to it. When Halloween was when we considered the thin line between life and death and saw that line blurred with each kid dressed as a ghost or the Grim Reaper. When we did consider how easy it is to fall off this mortal coil and treasured our time more because of it. Now Halloween is just an excuse to dress slutty. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)

Or maybe i'm just different and embrace this dark side of myself in a way others don't. I see it as what makes me the nifty person I am. So many other people either supress it or take it to the extreme. Who else cross stitches kitty Christmas ornaments while watching Secrets of the Mutter Museum for the tenth time on tifaux? Or wears black nail polish on their toes and glittery pink on their fingers? I can't be the only one.

So if you occasionally run across something here that freaks you out or makes you wonder if my blog has been taken over by a 14 year old who's heard too many My Chemical Romance songs don't worry. It's me. I've just mosied over to The Dark Side for a bit.

No comments: