Thursday, October 02, 2008

Why I love Josh. Part One in a series.

Let me begin this post by saying that I love nature. I also respect nature. I want nature to be preserved since it's the only one we have.

I also love bears and cougars. They are beautiful, majestic animals. I feel sad when I hear of one that has been killed. I feel very sad when I think of how their habitat is being torn down to build more subdivisions and shopping malls. When I hear of someone who has been attacked by one of these animals I feel bad for both of them because that person has a long road to recovery and the animal is likely to be hunted down and killed for doing what God programmed him to do which is hunt for food. Seeing these creatures on TV, in photographs and at the Asheboro Zoo is awesome. As in fills me with awe at the mere fact of them. Yea for bears! Yea for cougars!

Now, with that being said, I also have absolutely no desire to ever encounter one these creatures outside of a zoo setting. Watching Grizzly Man gave me the creeps during certain scenes where I felt way too close to the bears. The thought of a cougar lurking outside my house freaks me the fuck out. I do not belong anywhere near these animals in their natural habitat.

So that brings me to why I love Josh Part One.

The man has absolutely no desire to go camping.

None. Praise Jesus, no desire to go into the woods, into the bear and cougar's living room, sleep on the ground, pee in the woods, cook over a fire, none of that.

Now, i'm not a priss whose idea of camping is a hotel with no pool. I could go camping in a camper or RV that is parked in an area for those type of vehicles close to the woods. I mean a real camper or RV, not one of those where the beds fold out of the sides and you're covered by bug net. The bears can get you through that. And I have to be near other people who can hear me scream and come help if a bear decideds to try and get into the camper. I'm also not parking in the middle of no where because that's when the serial killers come and kill you and no one finds you for months or years.

So I would camp under certain conditions, but that is unlikely to ever happen. Because Josh, my love, my sweetie, my sweet potato pie, has no desire to camp.

Now why is this such a big deal? I've noticed in my 28 years that people who do camp are pretty strident about it. Because if you don't camp you're weak and shallow and all that crap. Because it's not ok to have different ideas of fun. Because you can't commune with nature at the beach apparently. Or by visiting a national park. No, only by sleeping there and peeing in the woods can you truely be one with nature and if you disagree then you just aren't right for each other. Just look at Nick and Jessica.

(Side rant: Jessica Simpson was raked over the coals for carrying her purse camping. Well fuck you. My purse has my wallet, my pocket knife, my cell phone, all my important things with me in one place. I would carry my purse camping. If I went on a hike I would transfer my important things to my back pack, but would I leave my purse at home? No! I need what's in there. So bite me purse haters!)

Anyway, Josh doesn't want to camp or climb mountains, or go hunting or do any of that manly roughing it nature crap. He's perfectly happy visiting historical landmarks and museums with me on vacation. I'm a girly girl, he's kind of a girly man, we both fear bears and cougars, and that is why I love him.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I rather like camping. I like camping in the fall when the leaves are different colors and it's crisp outside. A campfire can be very beautiful. Jason and I went camping once for Fall Break, and Jeremy and I went camping in the Shenandoah a few times. It's a lot of fun if you like hiking, procuring firewood, complete silence not bathing.

Camping during the summer sucks ass. It's hot, you're sweaty, you're dirty, and there are ticks, bugs, snakes etc. to worry about. Fuck that. Even though I liked camping, I always harbored a vague fear of starting my rag and getting mauled by a bear.