When does the fun start?

Today is the day I try on dresses. And I am so freaking anxious i've had to take part of a klonopin.

I didn't sleep well last night, I woke up with a headache, and dear old aunt flo is on her way so I'm generally feeling crappy. And all this makes me feel shitty about myself.

I never wanted to be That Bride. You know the one. She's taking a Xanex to get through her meeting with the caterer. She's yelling at her fiance over cake flavors. She's crying with her mom at the florist. Granted I have yet to engage in such hysterics, and please slap me if I do, but i'm not feeling as happy as I should right now.

Which is rediculous. Feelings are never wrong. Bottom line. You feel what you feel and that is always ok. As long as those feelings don't translate into rude, bratty behavior you are ok. And they haven't. I have been nice, polite and business like to everyone I have dealt with so far. And I guess that's why the fun hasn't yet started. It's been like a business deal on crunch time. I had to book a reception site immediately. I had to find a photographer post haste. I have to get my dress ordered. Save the dates need to be ordered and sent out. It's a lot to do in a short amount of time.

But i'm getting it done. And hopefully the ride will slow down soon and i'll have time to try on lots of shoes, and play with my hair and just enjoy this time. Until then I have this blog to spew on, and many, many TV shows on DVD. And my good pals Breyers and Klonopin. And my real freinds. It's going to be ok. It's going to get fun soon. It's going to end with me being married to Josh. Ahhhh.... Calm returns.