I'm starting to think I should have named this the Anxiety Bride. The anxiety disorders are kicking. Here are a few things i'm already worried about, some more reasonable than others:
1. Fitting into my dress in six months. 'Nuf said.
2. The cake will be ugly and taste bad. More later.
3. The food will be bad and the keg will not appear.
4. That I will have a headache that day.
5. That I will have a panic attack that day.
6. That I will break down into uncontrolable crying. Seriously. I'm like Milhouse. I cry when I skin my knee, I cry when they're out of chocolate milk, I cry when i'm doing long division and I have a remainder left over. I mostly cry when I feel overwhelmed or very emotional. And this is an overwhelming emotional day. So i'm going to cry. But ten years from now I don't want everyone who was at the wedding to say "You were crying so hard I didn't think you would make it down the aisle!" That would be bad.
7. That I will be unable to not see or hear from Josh from the end of the rehearsal dinner to the wedding. This is really freaking me out. Don't get me wrong, we don't live up each other's ass like some couples. I enjoy the time I have alone playing on the internet, reading, shopping and hanging out with my freinds. But Josh is my well built foundation, complete with vents every 48", vapor barrier and excellent grading. After i've been out shopping I'm excited to come home show him the stuff I bought, tell him what was on sale, describe the temper tantrums I witnessed, then hug him just because I missed him. I feel more secure waking up with him next to me. He calms me down when i'm upset. He is my other half. I can't imagine not seeing him on such an important day. I was in bed last night trying to come up with a solution. Maybe we could spend the night together and part that morning for breakfast with our peoples. Or maybe we could spend the night apart (a night that will surely include Ambien for me) but have breakfast alone together. I have to at least be able to call him. Ok, now i'm getting anxious just thinking about this. Moving on.
8. Josh having an allergy attack that day. That would be a disaster.
9. My mom having a migraine that day. That would be another disaster.
Man, this is an upsetting post. That coupled with the massive amount of caffiene in the Excedrin I had to take to get rid of my headache is making me jittery and panic-y. Ok, i'm out. Off the the intertron to try and find something funny to calm me down. I'll post later if I can do it with out inching towards meltdown.